Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Oh no she di-int!

Several of y'all have been with me a while and know that I used to recap the bachelor an bachelorette shows. It started out as my "Oh my gosh!" e-mails to friends and ended up being forwarded. It became a bit of a weekly tradition. I watch the show and I have my dialogue with the TV, Chris Harrison, Rookie, My husband, my sister via text message...basically anyone who will listen, so it was only natural to write it down and send it out into cyberspace. I stopped several seasons ago because work was busy, I was wedding planning, I didn't care a thing about Byron and Mary....you know, the usual. This is not an announcement....I am not picking back up on the recap, but I do have a few things to say about last night.....

1. Shannon. You are seriously a bizarro. The fact that you know his birthday, his brother's girlfriend's name, his shoes size, his SAT score and his weight after a good poo is not becoming. Neither is blowing your nose into a cocktail napkin an then trying to kiss him! Repeated chants of "Please give me a rose. I AM the girl for you. We would be so happy. You HAVE to give me a rose. I will make you happy and love you. We ARE soul mates. I need to see that you believe in me" is not attractive...it's called begging. Finally, when you didn't get a rose, what made you think it would be a great idea to announce to America that you are going to "go home and french kiss my doggy!" There have been women on this show that I have dubbed things such as "villain", "diva", "fabulous", "eccentric". I have one for Shannon....Lost Cause. (I'm sorry...I'll try to keep the gloves up)

2. Lauren. Girlfriend is fierce. She told Jason to give her a rose and when he didn't she was not afraid to call him out! "You didn't do what I told you to!" That usually goes over well with men! I'll give you three guesses on whether or not she got a rose.

3. ABC. Seriously guys? What ever made you think a 2-on-1 date with DANCING involved would be a great idea? It was totally awkward, excruciating to watch, I can only imagine AWFUL for those involved....ugh. The 2-on1 dates are hard enough when they just go out to eat and sit on top of building...let alone ball gowns and the foxtrot. Think it through next time for the sake of all involved. :)

Lastly, this has nothing to do with the bachelor, but did you guys catch the City?? Olivia's male cousin had the line of the night....they were discussing girls and drama and how gossip is so prevalent and they just don't like it and he exclaimed, "Girls will be girls and male models will be male models!"

Enough said!


katie newton said...

ok, so chils actually just ran down my arm at just the thought of your recaps coming back!!!! :):):) They filled a hole somewhere in me that has been empty for a long time now. Wow, that was deep. :)

Another WOW- for the Bachelor. Shannon is seriously psycho! I mean- 100%. What was that dress she was wearing- the red crochet number??? Horrible. And Lauren? She is psycho too?! "You better give me that rose or I'll be so pissed..."- always a good way to woo a man! These ladies need a good dose of zoloft.

I think I want Melissa to win- or maybe Molly (but she totally should have changed back into her own clothes after their date! Is she trying to get killed?). Thats my 2 cents about that.

lovelove! :)

lesli said...

oh i love your bachelor recaps! they are so good! be checking your blog email, because i'm going to be emailing you with a favor.

oh and lola and rookie would prob be BFF if they ever met! it would be scary though having the two cutest dogs in the entire world together in one room=)