Thursday, July 29, 2010

A Letter to the Treadmill...


Dear Running,

I hate your stinkin' guts. You're basically false advertising. I see commercials with people running on the beach, bounding about in their fantastic Nike shoes, great bodies, great tunes on their iPod and it actually looks do-able. Maybe even borderline pleasant. So it sucked me right in. I wanna have legs like that girl too!

So, Running, I loaded up my iPod, stepped on that treadmill and set out with such promise. One minute later I was huffing and puffing and I didn't look anything like the other girls on their treadmills. They were just watching Keeping up with the Kardashian's, gliding about at 7 miles an hour, not even so much as a bead of sweat and I'm flailing like a fish out of water to get through 2 minutes. My face is now the color of a beet, sweat's dripping down my face, I'm breathing like I just ran a marathon and I'm cussing your name, running! You're such a liar. You are not fun. You are not "a great stress relief". You are not easy and I don't look like those other girls yet. Surely, after a combined 18 minutes of running, I should have those legs by now, right?

Another thing I don't understand is how some people actually look cute while participating in your activity, running. They've got their little shorts on, their pony tail sweeping back and forth, no audible breathing...and then there's me. My shorts are riding up with each stride, I'm looking at the clock wondering how in creation it's only been 6 seconds...surely it's been 10 minutes. My hair is matted to the sweat on my face, I'm sucking wind and all I can think about is how much running stinks and I've only burned off the calories in 1/2 a strawberry.

I'll give you one little teensy bit of credit though, running...I do feel pretty good when I'm done with you. I think most of it is that I know I don't have to do it again for at least another 24 hours. But part of it could be that I actually feel good after huffing and puffing for a little while.

So I just might stick with you. I might even go as far as to say I'm going to pick out a 5K and work towards that. At this pace of running 2 minutes, walking 2 minutes it could take a while to get there, but I need a goal. So it's you and me. Mano a Mano. I hate you.

Let's do this.

XOXO,
T-Rog

26 comments:

Esmer said...

Go get 'em , Red!

Stephanie said...

It gets easier, I swear!

KatiePerk said...

Hilarious. I am with you 100%. I have never once in my life looked "cute" while in the gym.

Lauren said...

Oh I'm so with you! I hate running!

KellyV said...

Ahhh - good luck! I wish we were at the same gym, even my friend I've been working out with is one that I envy - no sweat, maybe a little flushed by the end of our run ... I'm drenched, beet red, and a wobbling mess leaving. Oh well - once finished it does feel a tiny bit good :)

Kristen said...

Stick with it girl! Before you know it you will be watching the Kardashians while running 7mph! I just takes a while to get there!

Katie said...

I agree 100%...sweaty and shorts riding up! Nothing "cute" about it! haha

Liz said...

HAHAHA. "I hate you. Let's do this." Awesome.

You need to ask Kate about the thing she found that's called like "Couch to 10K"... she's used it for running/walking training the last few weeks and loves it.

p.s. my word verification is "LIZED." You've just been LIZed. :D

Pray~and~Wait said...

HYSTERICAL!!!! And I completely agree! :)

garden state prep said...

I hear you - I love running but am never going to be one of those people who looks good when she runs. Good luck!

Kat said...

LO-freakin'-L!

Kara said...

I hate running...and too never looked good in the gym. I also agree with the couch to 5k program. Jana did it and I did most of it. It really helped me run that 3 mile trail run in Jan. Good luck!

kristin fulghum said...

amen. amen. amen.

Jax said...

hahaha! I so feel ya. I do NOT look haute while running...hence why I love my all female gym b/c my shorts ride up, my bangs are matted to my face and blocking the tv in front of me, and it's basically a disaster. That said, I'm FINALLY at a point where I can run and feel good and not think "when is this over" while I'm doing it. My trick: if I want to run, I do. If I'd rather elliptical, I do that. If I'm NOT feeling running, I walk for a bit. And ps.. I've realized I feel less like death if I walk for 3 or 4 minutes at a good pace before trying to jog.

Mind you, I still don't consider myself a "runner." I consider myself a "treadmill survivor." ;)

XOXO!

The Neffs said...

Adorable post! I hate running. How about the elliptical? I use it a lot.

The Masochistic Anthropologist said...

The first mile is generally the worst for me. A tip: start out at a slow comfortable pace and gradually work up in speed as you progress through your run. Although you may not look as fresh as the other women cruising along next to you, at least once you finish your run, you look like you actually worked hard! Also, no matter how long you have been running (days, months, years), there will always be those days when running feels completely impossible.
A friendly lurker who loves your blog!

Vanessa said...

This is awesome. I'm pretty convinced that running is for the devil. But while I'm at the gym on the ellipitcal and I feel like I'm dying after 2 minutes and the others around me look all cute and not sweaty, talk about jerks.

Keep it up, I'm sure you'll be one of those girls with awesome legs in no time!

Shelby Bukhenik said...

haha hilarious!! It does get better, but everything you said is sooo true!

Samantha said...

You go girl! Getting back into shape is the hardest part. I'm short of breath just thinking about it!

Dezzy Lou Where Are You said...

hilarious- and VERY true. Just ask my treadmill out in the garage, I only visit her about twice a month.

MissBrightside said...

true dat!

Susannah said...

Ha! Let's do this! :D Running is the devil, for sure.

Kate and Zach said...

100% right there with you! I hate running too! I applaude you for having the guts to try (which I can't make myself do)...

Polish and Pearls said...

Oh my gosh, you sound just like me when it comes to running- I don't know how it's possible that I ran a 5k at UT, but now, I can't even run a block. Pathetic. I'll stick to walking until I can get built back up again, lol!

Virginia Belle said...

You are hilarious! I feel you on everything you mentioned about running. I started running last October and it felt awful and each run was torture. But I can say, many months later of regular running, it gets so much better! Just stick with it! I never thought I would be a regular runner but now I actually look forward to my runs. While I feel better during my runs, I still look pretty rough while running and after a run and my shorts still ride up! But at least I still enjoy it. Good luck!

fowler said...

My thoughts exactly. Except the whole "feel good afterwards" part. I feel just as good after a bowl of ice cream!