Monday, July 11, 2011

Lemons and Lemonade...

I had a really great weekend. There wasn't really any one thing that made it great it was just a bunch of little things bundled together that equated to goodness.


If you judged my life on my last few posts you'd say life is pretty darn good. And in all honesty, I can't disagree with you, but I will tell you there is more than meets the eye. I'm very blessed. I have an amazing husband, a wonderful family, genuine and fun friends, the list goes on. But life is not without it's trials, frustrations, and don't forget the heartache.

I have always heard about Mt. Bonnell. It's a tourist spot here in Austin that overlooks Lake Austin to one side and downtown Austin to the other. With Dave and I both growing up around Austin and now living here almost 5 years we couldn't believe that neither of us had ever taken the time to go up there. So we decided that Saturday morning was just the time. We woke up early (6:30! On our one day to sleep in) and we headed out.

The views were truly amazing! After our morning at Mt. Bonnell, we went and got breakfast tacos, ran errands, he studied, I went to my parent's and swam with the dogs and then we ended the night with a dinner date. On the way to dinner I was thinking that it had been the perfect day!

I really needed Saturday. I had started to feel sorry for myself and there's no time for that! I've been plagued with a series of mishaps that are just life, but I've been letting it weigh on me. In January, we had a huge water leak from our upstairs bathroom that resulted in a lot of damage, we've had a lot of car repairs/general maintenance, my jewelry was stolen out of my checked baggage on our way to Savannah (I know I should have put it in my purse...), I was completely scammed by a carpet cleaning company, and I had 4 chairs recovered...got there to pick them up and they had been recovered in the wrong fabric. AND, it was my fault. :( I had to repurchase new fabric and have them re-done. Sometimes, life gives you lemons...


And, if you're still reading...and you hadn't guessed by my semi-vague posts before, we have been dealing with infertility for quite some time now. The lost jewelry and the very expensive fabric/furniture mishap seems fairly insignificant doesn't it? Of course it does, and it is all completely insignificant when compared to the one true desire of my heart. I want to be a mother more than anything. I dream about what our kids would look like and what kind of father Dave would be. But I know God is sovereign and He has a plan for our lives.

Here's the facts...some days are harder than others. Some days I just want to go to bed because it seems like "this one's just not in the cards" and maybe tomorrow will hold a different story. But I'm loved, I have friends praying for me and for Dave and for what our future holds. I pray we have a family. I pray on my hands and knees...sometimes my praying is more like begging. But I know that my story is written by the master story teller. And truthfully, in the last 3 months He has filled me with so much peace about our situation.

So tonight, I'm praying for a baby, I'm praying for whoever took my jewelry that was not theirs, I'm praying for my luck to change, and in an effort for it to not be all about me...because really, it should be all about HIM, I'm praying that I will see the beauty in my "average" life. Because He intended for me to live each moment for Him. There are blessings all around me...literally ALL around me. And I'm so grateful...here's to an ice cold glass of lemonade made straight from those fresh lemons!


Ps...if this entertains anyone even a little bit....Dave is such a good sport. My camera was balancing on a rock and my backpack to take this picture of us on self-timer. He just expects this from me. :)

21 comments:

Liz said...

I love you, my friend. Thank you for sharing your heart with us today.

Suburban Princess said...

It stinks when things go wrong...but how about focusing on the good things?! Make a list of everything you are grateful for and it will all seem a lot easier.

Lauren said...

Thanks for such an honest post; we all have our trials and I can tell you that I have those times when I have been on my knees begging to God. And you know the glorious thing in that, I truly believe that that's ok...that our incredibly sovreign all-powerful God understands and if begging seems to be the best option, then begging it will be!

Sara said...

Oh honey, thank you for such a beautiful and well written post. You are so strong and deserve to be a mom so much. I think about you all the time and you're always in my prayers. Love love love you!

Shelley Lenay said...

As my grandmother would say, "this too shall pass", that has kept me going many a days and I hope it helps you!

Callie Nicole said...

I'm sorry to hear you've been dealing with infertility - we had a hard time getting pegnant with our son, so I know how that feels! I'll be praying for you!

Chelsea said...

This post is so heart-felt. I'm so sorry to hear about the trials you've been faced with lately. While my trials are different, I can definitely relate to those times of feeling plagued with unfortunate events. My prayers and thoughts go out to you! That you will stay hopeful and happy through this trying time :)

katie newton said...

I JUST prayed for you yesterday!! God totally put you on my heart.... can't wait to see how the Lord will use this time in your life- like you said, it's all about HIM, but He is using YOU right now in mighty ways. love you sweet girl...

Kate said...

I have put you on my prayer list! xoxo

KatiePerk said...

My word woman. What a post. I hate when bad things happen to good people. I also had my jewelry stolen last time I flew and it is such a miserable feeling!
I am thinking positive baby thoughts for you!

Julie B. said...

Tiffany,
I've been reading your blog for several years and I have commented periodically. I gave you multiple restaurant suggestions for HHI -and then apologized for getting carried away!! I've been going to Hilton Head every year for 31 years now and I am pretty passionate about it;) I hope you liked it, too. Savannah is also wonderful.

I actually had an idea that your heartache might have something to do with infertility. Especially since it seems so many of your friends have welcomed first babies the last year or so. I honestly cannot say I understand; because I don't. I am from the other extreme -I could get pregnant from making out. I don't say that to upset you but to share with you that I got pregnant about 4 months after getting married. I was shocked, scared and quite honestly?...I was not ready for it. Of course, I got ready, had a wonderful little boy and 4 years later, a daughter. BUT, my marriage hangs by a thread these days. My son has a chronic medical condition and it's been really hard for me and my husband to deal with. This may provide you no solace at all, but I want you to know that my husband and I both feel that we have never had time together; just he and I. And truth be told, we really haven't. We didn't date long before we got married and pregnancy came so soon after. Our marriage has suffered immensly because our son came so very quickly, unexpectedly and then had issues immediately after birth. So, while I'm rambling, I want you to know that maybe God has given you this time to grow ever so close to your husband and really get to know him and HIM and the gift of a child will be a joyous and planned thing. I just know that God has good things planned for you -you seem like such a sweet person with a WONDERFUL family!!

I hope I haven't offended you in any way. I know I can possibly understand what you are feeling but I also know what my marriage has experienced from such things being so completely UNplanned.

"Hope is the little voice you hear whisper 'maybe' when it seems the entire world is shouting 'no'".

Here's hoping for you!!!

xo,
J

melissa said...

Beautifully, honestly written. I have absolutely no doubt that you and Dave will have a beautiful family and be amazing parents one day. I hope that "one day" comes so soon because you are an amazing, beautiful woman who deserves nothing but happiness and good things. I'm sorry life is heavier on lemons than lemonade right now. As always, I'm sending lots of hope and good thoughts your way. xoxo

Oh, and because you're too sweet to say it, I hope whomever took your jewelry steps in a giant pile of dog poo. And has their car towed. And some other really crappy stuff but I'll stop there.

Elicia said...

Tiffany, you are such an amazing person and you constantly seem to put on a cheerful face in spite of your struggles and that is so impressive to me. You are so special and loved by so many. You will be in my prayers and I know that God has big things in store for you! Love you!

kristin fulghum said...

Thanks for being honest and vulnerable. You are a gem and I can't wait to see the amazing story of God's goodness unfold in your life.

Polish and Pearls said...

When everything bad seems to happen close together, it makes it so hard to remember the good things- it's refreshing to see that you have the right view on life to be grateful for the good!

Angie said...

my thoughts and prayers are with you!
xoxo :)

Virginia Belle said...

Thanks for writing such a heartfelt post. I admire your strength and ability to look at the good things in life despite all of the set backs you have had lately. You will be in my prayers!

Tim and Laura said...

Love you, Friend! I pray that God gives you the desires of your heart and blesses you beyond your imagination!

Natalie said...

Wow you really did turn lemons into lemonade! Keep up the faith girl I know things will turn around for you.

Jen D. said...

First time I have been to your blog and I am glad I visited. I know what I'll be praying for. Love to you.

sem said...

i.love.you.